DDA- Sounds like some kind of disease,right? Well, I can assure you it is not some kind of disease but a new acronym-D=Diabetes, D=Depression and A= Anxiety. By now, I hope that you have had the chance to read a few of my postings, however you are probably wondering things like, where does she get these thoughts from? Why does she write about what she does? Well, I am hoping by the time you finish reading this, you will not only be able to answer the above questions, but know a little bit more about me, my background, and where I am coming from so at least you can have an understanding about where the basis behind these post are coming from and what is the basis behind many of these post, all the while along the way being introduced to some of the people who have inspired some of these posts as well. Will what I write be all controversial free and all 100% right, no it will probably not be. However, if it is was to be controversial free and 100% right that probably means I am not human.
What you will hear a lot of is my views, thoughts, experiences, and interpretation on life, based off of my experiences. All the while at the same time hoping to give hope, inspiration and love to others and show them that what you may think is impossible is possible.
For thouse who don’t know me, and if you don’t know all ready my name is Catherine Kelly Marie Wallace, but do me a favor and like many just call me Cathie unless you are really mad at me. You maybe asking what is with 2 middle names, well one is my God given Birth name- the name I was given at birth, and the other one is when I made an agreement with God that I wanted to follow him for the rest of my life. I was born on January 14,1988 to a wonderful mother, caregiver and supporter- see my first picture, ain’t I just oh so cute! (go ahead- laugh I know you want to). I never knew my grandparents, nor my father and his family but over time life would change that.
As time went on I started leaving my “footprints” on the world and in the lives of many. I never realized what I wasdoing but I was making a difference already at such a young age. While many folks saw one person, there was a whole different person from within that was fueling my growth and development into the person that I am today.
Looking back at life, things seemed to be perfect on the outside but it was a whole new world behind the scenes. I thought that my life was going great, then again what did I know, I was only in elementary school, still learning my ABCs and things like how to read Cat in Hat and how to put sentences together so I can write these postings to you. I had no worry in the world, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my stomach add activities to be apart of a basic social structure and involvement in spiritual activities, liking going to church what else could I ask for.
Life was going good, however, it wasn’t going to be before long that my life would start to change and reality would soon come and start to set in and show me that life as I knew it, was just a dream.
On Christmas Eve,2000,I was given a gift that would change the rest of my life, its the first D in my DDA; Diabetes (Santa was trying real hard to reassure me, that everything is going to be alright- but I wasn’t believe it- come to believe he was right).
While I wanted to believe it was going to be true, I had my doubts otherwise, which only got in the way. As many know, it takes a lot of work and support which I will be the first to admit I had little of (the basis for my first 2 postings.)
I assumed it was a death sentence and because of my many emotional and social struggles another issue came to light in 2004- the second D in DDA: Depression. My days consisted of get up, eat, sleep, go to school come home and repeat all over again (which may be the reason why I can’t find many pictures to share with you from this time. I never had your typical play dates nor was apart of any community club sports or anything that would consist of this nature. However, in this time frame, I did find the ability to graduate from high school when not many, except for my mom and godmother believed in me.
As you can tell the ability to build friendships was not there. As you can tell by some of the pictures I am sharing on here, I was not accepted well by my peers because of my physical appearance, and then therefore many aspects in my life were effected. The biggest were social and self esteem issues- like worthiness and my abilities of what I can do– some of which I still am working on till this day.
While it seems that I may have always seemed to be a social butterfly, and that all was going ok- it never really was. I grew up with my mom as my provider, caregiver, and best friend. Something not typically considered to be normal. That is where some folks are lucky when they have siblings, because siblings are your first best friend, I didn’t have this experience. Most of the time I was hidden from the issues of the real world I wouldn’t know what it reality really was going to be like when my cover of protection was taken away. That cover of protection was my mother and I would soon find out in 2009, when I was 21 and when my mom was called home to be with God and other loved ones who received their final call that life was not like a box of chocolates. It was at this time, I would receive the final letter of DDA: Anxiety.
Over the course of my short life so far, I have been given roadblocks after roadblock in life and I just try to make the best out of it. Some days that is easier said then done, however, that is one of the many reasons why I started this blog was to help myself and others. I feel that because of my past, I am re-learning life all over again and this blog will take you through some of those journeys and things I have been learning along with my interpretations. So, please remember this, anything of which you read here, use your best judgement, I am not a professional. I just have discovered some things that have worked for me and want to share them. If I can make a positive difference in one person’s life then I have did my job for the day.
When I am not blogging, I am living life in Buffalo, New York. Buffalo is located just an hour away from Niagara Falls. Buffalo is known for its, architectural landmarks, diversified culture and fun night life. On any given night of the week, you can always find something fun to do (well, most of us can at least). I grew up in the cities South towns and because of the roadblocks that life has dealt me, I have became a city dweller.
Also, to understand a bit more about me, I have included some facts that not many folks know about me, but once you do you will understand the reasoning behind some of the blogs
1) I love having teddy bears, butterflies, and angels around. Along with being around cats and dogs because they give you comfort all the time, especially when you are down. They don’t judge you neither and love you no matter what
2) I like helping people in whatever way possible which is one of the many reasons why I love my work at the Mental Health Association. Being able to help others who have been or are in similar or same situations as you.
3) I have my Associates in Applied Sciences degree from Erie Community College. I studies Paralegal Studies. It took me 3 and half years to get a 2 year degree- many roadblocks on the path of life- but i did it!
5) My favorite hobbies are photograpghy, knitting, blogging and planning where I am going to go on a trip next (another words- day dreaming, alot!) This trip is usally the trip I have been going on for the past few years to Children with Diabetes Friends for Life.
6) I would like to prove to people that just because someone has an illness doesn’t mean they are going to be ill too and that folks that are different because of illness or issues out of that persons control can be just as successful as someone without these issues.
Most importantly, please realize that dreams really do come true!- just not when we want them. For example, I always want to go to Disney and it finally happened. Twenty years (on average) after most folks of my age. I was 25, and with a little bit of help from others I got to do just that. At the same time, I was also gained more support, and continue to do so. My point is that sometimes dreams come true in the most craziest ways. You can identify it as what some would say, 2 for 1 special.
My favorite Song is called I Believe, It is my favorite for many reasons but the man reason is because dreams and things really do come true when you just Believe- I have seen it happen. A few thoughts that I thought would never happen, came true this year. One of them was going to Disney, meeting more people that I can realte to and the other, was meeting Pastor Donnie McClurkin who has had such an impact on my life and getting in contact with him is nearly never happens.
Pastor Donnie helped empower me through song and praise of our creator when I was homeless and in my darkest hours. However, I triumphed over those roadblocks.
All of thease things have came true, for nothing is impossible. It may take longer- yes. Will there be things that stand in the way- you bet ya. The important thing is that you have to realize it isn’t going to happen when you want it to but when it is suppose to happen. If you don’t believe me just ask Fantisa from American Idol.
Lastly, please leave comments, or write to me I would love to hear your thoughts, it just may be the meaning behind a posting!
Muchto you today, tomorrow, and always